


Sublimation

by RedScribbler



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Future Fish Au, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, MHFest 2016, Post-Series, mook au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 06:28:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8963059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedScribbler/pseuds/RedScribbler
Summary: As an adult, Makoto had almost forgotten the water cycle completely, until it culminated not in the depths of the ocean but within the confines of his bathtub. Until Haruka came home to him. ~~After the Happily-Ever-AfterDay 21: Second Times





	

**Author's Note:**

> right, now this is an odd one.
> 
> this was a fic i had originally planned for a different mh themed thing that fell through but because I'm doing Makoharu Festival, I decided it was time to finish it up. Second Times is a bit of an odd prompt anyway so I hope this actually works as opposed to seeming like hammering a square fic into a round prompt.
> 
> also its based off of the mook au and with the audio track having just come out i got heartbroken all over again so there you are
> 
> this is also quite long so it felt better to separate it from the other fest entries.
> 
> in any case, please enjoy!

Evaporation, condensation, precipitation and collection. 

In school, many years past, Makoto had been taught that these were the four basic stages of the water cycle. Geography had never been interesting to him but, in the mind of a primary school student, there was something miraculous about the constant rejuvenation of something so powerful and important. His teacher, a romantic, had described the process of water returning to the sea as going back home and the words immediately caught his imagination.

After his classes were done that day, he met his mother outside of school and babbled about his day as they walked home. She brought him along the coast road, a slow stroll. Sunlight caught against the low waves and Makoto had raised a hand to block out the glare. He recalled what he had been taught then looked up to his mother and asked if she knew what the water cycle was. 

She had laughed and ruffled his hair indulgently before asking if he would explain it to her. He tried his level best to recite his lesson. A faint word of praise was offered for his efforts. He had looked out to the sea then and asked her how water knew how to get back to it. His mother considered the question, following his gaze. 

“It's natural, I suppose,” She had offered quietly, “It doesn't have to think- it just knows where it's meant to be.”

As a child, he had accepted her answer without question.

As an adult, he had almost forgotten the water cycle completely, until it culminated not in the depths of the ocean but within the confines of his bathtub. 

Until Haruka came home to him. 

~~

The morning after Haruka reappeared in his bathroom, six months after the fire, Makoto woke up to a cold, empty bed. 

There was a heart-stopping, breath-stealing moment where he convinced himself that it had all been a lie. That grief had finally driven his mind over the edge and given him a beautiful fantasy that he could never touch again. 

He had spent half a year trying to forget Haruka's face, his voice, the colour of his eyes. With one night his subconscious had destroyed all that progress and Makoto could feel the dark, numbing sorrow he was all-too-familiar with creeping back over him.

Then the next moment came.

He heard a tap running from the next room over. The sound of water hitting porcelain.

The morning bath was being prepared. 

Makoto flung the sheets back without thought and leapt out of the bed. He couldn't remember leaving the room. One moment, he was at the side of his bed and the next, he was standing in the doorway of his bathroom, staring inside. 

And there he was.

Haruka Nanase lay back in the bathtub, his tail fin hanging over the rim and a slightly irritated look on his face. 

“Makoto,” He complained, “You're too loud.”

Some far-away part of Makoto's brain took note of the fact that he had slammed the bathroom door open so hard that it had scuffed the wall but most of his mind was preoccupied with the vision in front of him. 

It hadn't been a dream or a delusion. Haruka was really alive. Last night, he had really reappeared in Makoto's bath and they had both really gone to sleep in the same bed, too exhausted by relief to make up the futon. 

Makoto couldn't help but stare, taking in every last inch of him. The scales of his tail glistened in the white light of the bathroom, rainbow-like, emphasizing his pale skin.

“Makoto.”

Droplets of water dripped down from his damp hair. Combined with the steam rising from the warm water, it reminded Makoto of that awful night where he had literally slipped through his fingers.

“Makoto?”

He tried to put the image from his mind, focusing on other things. Haruka's small, round mouth. His eyes, an unreal blue that pierced right through him. He had forgotten how striking they were, even from a few feet away.

“Makoto!”

Makoto jumped out of his own thoughts by the shout and looked at Haruka as a whole rather than in parts. He was leaning over the bathtub, clutching on the rim with a tight-knuckled grip. His brow was furrowed heavily and a small frown was clear on his face. His mild irritation had turned to confusion and concern. 

Makoto realised just how long he had been staring at him without speaking. 

“Ah! S-Sorry!” He felt his cheeks grow hot with embarrassment, “I'll, um, I'll start breakfast...”

He turned on his heel and walked into the kitchen as quickly as he could without looking even more suspicious then he already did. 

The morning sun shone brightly through the window over the sink and it looked set on doing so for the rest of the day. Makoto hoped it wouldn't get too warm. Haruka didn't like too much heat. 

He started going through the usual motions of getting food ready, pulling bread out of the press, heating up the grill to make toast, reminding himself to get more orange juice when he shook the carton and found it nearly empty. It was only when his toast was halfway done that he realised he had only taken out one plate. It had been a long time since he needed any more. He lifted another plate down, handling it carefully and placed it beside his own. 

Makoto stared down at them, sitting side by side as if it was perfectly normal. He stared without seeing and became lost in his thoughts of last night again. He didn't realise he was crying until a tear splashed down onto one of the plates. Makoto gasped and stumbled backward. He clamped a hand to his mouth and tried to stop the sudden feeling that flooded through him. His back hit one of the kitchen counters and he slumped down to the floor and pressed his hands to his face.

Makoto wasn't sure what set him off, whether it was seeing two plates where for so long there had only been one, whether it was the completely ordinary smell of toast after such an extraordinary wake-up call, or whether it was the sound of another person in his life again.

All of the grief and guilt Makoto had felt since Haruka had given up his life for him seemed to be coursing through his mind again and it was struggle to not sob openly where he sat. Seeing him again had brought everything Makoto had felt and thought since that night back to the surface from where he had tried to bury it under a blistering numbness.

From the bathroom, he heard a plug being pulled. 

Makoto gasped and tried to get his breathing under control, scrubbing at his tears ferociously. It was so frustrating, Haruka was alive! He had come back to him! There was no reason for this kind of reaction!

Makoto slapped himself sharply across the cheek.

“Stop it, stop it,” He muttered to himself. 

Haruka was going to come out any minute and it wouldn't do for him to see Makoto like this. He was the one who had 'died', it wasn't right for Makoto to still be so upset. Especially when Haruka himself didn't seem too fazed by it. 

_I have to be okay,_ Makoto thought furiously, _I have to be okay for Haru._

It wouldn't do if that was the kind of homecoming he got. 

Makoto took a deep breath and stood up, leaning heavily on the counter for balance. 

By the time, Haruka had dried off and gotten dressed, Makoto had managed to pull himself together, although he hadn't done it in time to save the toast. 

Haruka sat at the table and raised an eyebrow at the burnt slabs of bread on his plate.

“I got distracted,” Makoto offered lamely. 

“You're still a bad cook,” Haruka said fondly.

He smiled slightly at him before offering thanks for the food and reaching for the butter. 

Makoto's heart skipped a beat at the sight. The small upturn of Haruka's lips was a gift he didn't think he ever receive again.

Therein lay another problem. In the six months that he had been gone, Makoto hadn't stopped loving Haruka any less. 

He had come to terms with the fact that his feelings for him were romantic shortly after their trip to the sea last Summer but he had never worked up the nerve to confess to him. After the fire, it remained one of his biggest regrets. 

Makoto knew he couldn't possibly talk to Haruka about his feelings right now but even as he put on the kettle to brew tea, he could see it happening someday. He had been given a rare second chance and he wasn't stupid enough to waste it. Besides which, in the time that they had lived together, Haruka had seemed just as keen to spend time with him as he had. From playing video games late into the night, to learning how to cook Makoto's favourite meals, to countless hours of mindless chatter and simply just being together, Haruka had shown his care for Makoto in a myriad of ways. At the time, Makoto had dismissed what he had noticed as wishful thinking. In the days that had passed since Haruka had gone, he had reflected on them and began to think otherwise. 

Makoto put those thoughts aside for the moment. There were plenty of other things to devote his attention to right now. In any case, he had been granted the gift of time. He intended to use as much of it as possible. 

Makoto put his hands together and gave thanks for everything but the food.

~~

Nagisa didn't like their new lunch place.

It was too far from work. The coffee was bad. They didn't sell strawberry shortcake. 

He kept his complaints to himself however. He knew if he voiced them Rei would inevitably point out that they were only a variation on the same excuses Nagisa made for every sandwich shop and coffeehouse that they had tried in the last six months. 

Neither of them ever had the nerve to bring up what stopped them from going back to the refurbished restaurant on Iwatobi Street. 

So Nagisa bit his tongue and watched as Rei cut the crusts off his flat-looking tuna sandwich. He caught his eye and Rei wordlessly put them onto his plate, making a face when Nagisa dipped them in his caramel latte. 

“You have no taste, Rei-chan,” He teased him with a grin.

“I think you might have a little too much, Nagisa-kun,” Rei retorted. 

Nagisa blew a raspberry at him but let it go. Someday he would convert Rei to his weird tastes but it wasn't today. 

“When do you have to be back in the lab?” He asked him, taking a sip of his drink. 

“Twenty minutes,” Rei sighed, stirring his coffee sullenly. 

Nagisa made a small, sympathetic noise. Work had been tough for both of them lately, and with an irregular schedule piled onto their workloads, these quick lunches were the only time that they had had to meet at all in the past week. Rei was due back in his laboratory until six in the evening, while Nagisa had finished his shift an hour ago.

"I just feel bad leaving you by yourself for the day," Rei murmured, reaching over the table and taking his hand apologetically.

Nagisa grasped his hand with both of his and squeezed it tightly.

"I'll be fine!" He promised, "I've got a ton of chores to do, all my clothes are filthy and there's nothing in the fridge! Besides..." Nagisa bit his lip, "It's Mako-chan's lunchtime too... I invited him to come meet me here."

Rei's worried frown only grew.

"...Do you think he'll come?"

Nagisa said nothing, only squeezed Rei's hand tighter.

In the past six months, they had both been witness to Makoto's terrible transformation into a shadow of the person he once was. Haruka's death had scarred them all; Nagisa had cried himself to sleep for a week straight and Rei had thrown himself into studying obsessively about first-aid and fireproofing a home, but the loss seemed to break Makoto entirely.

A week after the fire, with no body to bury and no family to contact, the three of them had gone to the seashore and held a ceremony for Haruka themselves. Rei had eulogized as best he could, eloquent at first before stuttering as he began to cry. Nagisa had arranged a bouquet with flowers from his sister's shop that he laid solemnly in the surf. Makoto was silent the entire time, his only action to stand ankle-deep in the water with his head bowed.

On the drive back to town, he had collapsed in the back-seat, wailing. Rei had pulled over so the two of them could climb into the back of the car to comfort him but he was inconsolable for the guts of an hour, weeping and shaking where he sat. Neither of them had ever seen him cry before. Makoto had always seemed so strong, carrying himself carefully through the frustrations and fears of everyday life, always willing to accept the burden of others as well. For Nagisa, who had known him since they were young, who treated him like his older brother, seeing him sob like a child was particularly disturbing.

What came after was worse.

Makoto wouldn't go to work, he locked the doors of his apartment and shut out the world for nearly two weeks solid. The fire chief was more than understanding, but after 12 days of ignoring his calls and messages, Nagisa didn't have quite as much patience.

When Rei and himself finally managed to talk their way into the building, the lights were off, the cupboards were empty and every trace of Haruka had vanished from sight. They had found Makoto in bed, exhausted, unshaven. He refused to say anything to them apart from telling them that he needed some time to himself. Nagisa confided that Makoto being left alone for so long without talking to anyone was what had frightened him so badly.

Makoto hadn't responded to that and when he finally looked up at Nagisa, all he could see in his eyes was a deep, awful emptiness, as if that was all that was left in him.

They helped as best as they could. They brought food, took him on walks around the neighbourhood, made him message them back when they couldn't be with him.

In time, Makoto began to respond to their help. He hadn't healed by any means but he was up and functioning, which at that moment was the best that Nagisa and Rei could have hoped for.

His family visited. They had never met Haruka in person but Makoto had talked enough about him when they lived together that it felt like they had. It helped, having his siblings and parents around him again. He wasn't used to being alone.

Eventually, he went back to work. After a few days back in the firehouse, he threw himself into it completely. In a way, it was almost worse than just laying at home. Makoto buried his grief in drills, late-night call outs and extra training. He was always the first to charge into a burning building and the last to leave it. He barely ever stopped to eat or rest, and while his actions were praised by his coworkers, they left him with a plethora of scars that would never fade. It took a broken leg -both femur and tibia- and several weeks of bedrest to snap him out of that particular downward spiral.

Now, six months later, Makoto was in the best shape he had in been since the fire. It still wasn't great shape -it was barely breaching good- but he was keeping his head above the surface; eating right, working reasonably, talking to people. It was the most anyone could ask for, all things considered.

Nagisa made a point to invite him out as much as possible. Lunch dates, shopping trips, walking the family dog, anything to get him out of the house or work and around other people. Sometimes Makoto came, sometimes he didn't. Nagisa had long learned the difference between Makoto legitimately being busy and any excuse he chose to make up. 

It was a slow process, getting Makoto to actually open up and try to live again, and at this point Nagisa wasn't sure how much further he could progress. He wasn't convinced Makoto would ever fully recover from what had happened. 

He had confided in the two of them what had really happened in the restaurant that night. Haruka had saved him at the cost of his own life. For anyone, the guilt would have been overwhelming. For Makoto, Nagisa knew it must have been infinitely worse. 

Rei had said more than once that Makoto should see a professional. He argued that the two of them were unequipped to handle the true depths of Makoto's grief. Deep down, Nagisa knew he was right even if he felt like an utter failure of a friend admitting it. 

From across the table, Rei took back his hand and began to pack up his things. 

“Nagisa-kun... I know you believe that he won't be willing to do it, but I really think we should find a grief counselor for Makoto-san.”

Nagisa finished off his latte and silent started to reach for his own bag. 

“I dislike putting him under pressure as much as you do,” Rei forged on, “But he is not well. He needs proper help.”

Nagisa let his gaze fall past Rei's shoulder, avoiding his eyes.

“...I've done a little bit of research. There is someone right here in town who deals with this sort of thing. She is only about twenty minutes away by car from Makoto-san's apartment building...”

Nagisa still wouldn't look at him.

“Look, we've tried, Nagisa-kun! We can't say we haven't! I know you want to be the one to help him! Perhaps we can contribute financially-- Nagisa-kun, are you even listening?”

“Rei-chan,” Nagisa spoke finally, breathlessly, “Shut up.”

“I-I beg your pardon?!”

“Rei-chan! Shut up and look!”

Nagisa pointed at a spot behind him, where he had been staring for the past minute. Rei turned in his seat, annoyed and half-convinced that he was falling for one of Nagisa's pranks.

He expected nothing. What he saw instead was Makoto standing in the doorway of the cafe, dressed in his work gear and looking around for them. As soon as Rei saw him, he made eye-contact. 

Makoto raised his hand in greeting and then with both of them watching, he smiled. Not a friendly smile, not a smile of acknowledgement but a genuinely, eye-crinkling, full-faced, happy smile.

Makoto looked happy.

Rei felt his jaw drop open. He could practically feel Nagisa's shock radiating off him. 

Before either of them knew it, he had reached their table.

“Nagisa, Rei, hi!” He gaze landed on their packed bags, “Oh no, are you leaving? I'm so sorry, I got my shift a lot later than I thought I would!”

“N-no, it's fine....” Rei stuttered, “I, um, I just have to go back to work soon...”

“Ah, that's a shame,” Makoto drawled as he pulled out a chair and sat down at the table, “How have you been anyway?”

“Um, I'm, uh, f-fine..?” He couldn't help but end the answer with a question, confusion overloading his brain.

“Mako-chan!” Nagisa suddenly slammed his hands down on the table, finally finding his voice, “What about you? Are you alright?!”

Makoto looked over at him, surprised. He took in the intense, focused look on Nagisa's face and laughed. Nagisa fell back into his seat in shock. Neither of them really thought that they would ever hear him laugh again.

“Why did you ask me like that?” He wondered, looking back and forth between the two of them.

All the frantic energy fled Nagisa and slumped down in his seat. Rei lowered his eyes to the table. 

“Mako-chan....” Nagisa trailed off, his courage failing him.

“Hmm?” Makoto leaned in closer, encouragingly. 

He was still smiling.

Nagisa breathed in deeply and plowed through

“Mako-chan... you look so happy...”

Makoto smile vanished instantly. He looked at Nagisa clearly before turning to Rei, taking in his hunched shoulders and the wince in his face.

But the calm, clear look in his eye that was always present before the fire didn't leave him. 

A stillted moment of silence languished between the three of them before Makoto let out a sigh, deep and rumbling. He lay one hand on Nagisa's forearm, the other on Rei's shoulder.

“I owe both of you a big apology, don't I?” His smile was back, tinged with sadness.

Before either of them could say anything, he sat upright and cleared his throat.

“There is something I want to tell you both about,” He said, catching their eyes, “It.... sounds impossible, crazy even, but I would like you to hear me out before you say anything.”

Nagisa and Rei exchanged a look, concerning and curiosity warring between them. 

“Before that though, I have a question.”

They leaned forward in their seats. Makoto's smile turned friendly again. 

“Would you like to come over to mine for dinner tonight?”

“Dinner?” Nagisa exclaimed, thrown for a loop.

“Mmhmm.”

Nagisa's mouth flopped open and closed, speechless. He hadn't been _invited_ to Makoto's home for over six months, only letting himself in with the spare key.

“Um.... I finish work at six o'clock,” Rei spoke hesitantly, “Is that alright?”

“It's great!” Makoto beamed at him, “We'll eat at seven.”

Rei looked back to Nagisa, sharing in his dumbfoundedness. 

“Now then,” Makoto sighed again, looking serious, “One more question.”

Nagisa shifted his chair closer to him, lifting Makoto's hand back onto his forearm. Rei pushed his glasses upward on his face, focusing.

Makoto took a deep breath.

“What do you two know about the water cycle?”

~~

It was surreal, Haruka thought as he stood over the boiling pot of soup, being like this again. 

_This_ being solid and whole, instead of being scattered into a billion fragments. 

_This_ being standing in the kitchen he had called home for half a year.

 _This_ being almost normal, falling immediately back into the same routine of domesticity he had had with Makoto before he had left. 

Haruka had known of course, what charging into the burning restaurant that night would do to him. He had experienced the feeling of evaporation once before, when he was younger and reckless. It wasn't painful, so to speak, but it was unnerving. The sensation of your body physically changing from one state of matter to another, dissolving into an infinite amount of molecules, wasn't something a sentient mind could process, so the only feeling it could conjure up was a mild tingling.

What hurt a lot more had been the terrified look on Makoto's face.

Haruka couldn't say for certain what had prompted him to rush in that night. All he knew was that one moment he was listening to a mother reunite with the child that Makoto had gone in to look for, and in the next his feet were moving.

Ever since then, it had been a struggle to keep his mind together. The vapour wanted to rise, the cloud wanted to float, the rain wanted to fall, the water wanted to flow. He had had to resist the natural movements of every state his scattered body went through in order to find his way back to Makoto.

Haruka focused on thoughts of the home they shared, on Makoto's big, green eyes, the way bright sunlight made his hair glow golden, his rough, worn hands handling things with delicacy, the slope of his shoulders, that wonderful smile. The knowledge that he would be waiting for him.

Without these things to concentrate on, Haruka wasn't sure if he would have been able to solidify at all. If it wasn't for the notion that there was somewhere and someone that he could go back to, he might have ended up drifting away in the ocean, his sense of self abandoned and his body destroyed.

The soup began to bubble fiercely so he turned down the heat on the oven to a gentle simmer. He dipped his tester spoon into the hot liquid and took a sip, before smiling to himself. Perfect. The ability to taste was certainly something that he had missed.

In all honesty, he wasn't sure how long he had been gone for. The air was a touch colder and the plants looked different but Haruka wasn't familiar enough with land seasons that he could say for certain how long his absence had been. He made a mental note to ask Makoto when he got back from picking up the last few ingredients they needed for dinner. 

Seeing Makoto again, watching the shock and awe bloom in his face when Haruka appeared in his bathtub again; the real thing was so much better than all his thoughts combined, especially when Makoto had welcomed him home with a tearful smile.

This morning, he didn't see even a shadow of that smile. 

Haruka frowned down at the red peppers he was chopping up for the stir-fry. When he had gone for his usual bath earlier, Makoto had barged in on him and just stared. It wasn't shock Haruka could see on his face but it was similar to it, as if he couldn't believe he was really there. The expression came hand in hand with his stiff shoulders and the way he had slammed the door open so hard. His eyes were faraway, looking at Haruka and seeing something else, the bags under them were dark. 

He had had to call his name more than once for him to respond. That was concerning in and of itself. He never used to have to ask for Makoto's attention. 

The morning had passed normally after that slight bump, to the point where Makoto had floated the idea of having Nagisa and Rei over so they could see him again. Haruka was happy enough with the thought. Although their two friends had been conflated with the general idea of home rather than standing out as individuals when he was going through his cycle, he was keen to see them and let them know he was alright. 

After Makoto suggested having them for dinner, he had immediately gone to the fridge to see what he could make and was met with three microwavable meals, a half-empty milk carton and a single orange. 

He had rummaged through the cupboards as well and found the shelves equally bare. 

Makoto had chuckled bashfully behind him and offered his lack of culinary skill as an excuse. 

When Haruka turned back to give him a judgmental look, he couldn't help but notice how Makoto had lost weight. 

After a promise to pick something up after his shift at the firehouse, Makoto had run out the door, leaving Haruka to get re-accustomed to their apartment. 

At first, he couldn't find his clothes -the half of the closet that he had been using taken over by Makoto's things- but after a bit of digging, he had found everything he had worn since he moved in stuffed into a huge cardboard box which had been buried at the back of Makoto's bedroom wardrobe.

The more clothes Haruka pulled out -all wrinkled and smelling unaired- the more he noticed that it wasn't just his clothes that had been put away. His toothbrush, his watch, the sketchbook Makoto had bought him, everything Haruka had every had here had been hidden away. 

He wondered glumly if he had been taking up too much space before. 

The worst shock came when he reached down to the bottom of the box and pulled out every single photograph he had ever taken with Makoto. The photos they had snapped on the beach, at Nagisa's birthday party, the few candid ones Makoto had sweet-talked his way into keeping. Every image of Haruka's face had been torn down from the apartment and shoved into the darkness. 

Kneeling on the soft carpet in Makoto's bedroom, Haruka began to feel cold. He rammed the photos back into the box and pushed it back where he had found it. He tried to put it from his mind, to fold his clothes and reassemble the life he had left behind. 

He gave up halfway through hunting for a spare sock and sat down on the bed heavily. Makoto had hidden all the evidence that Haruka had ever lived here. It was as if he didn't want to even remembered that he had existed. 

But he did, he had come back to prove that. 

Haruka swallowed past the heavy lump that had suddenly appeared in his throat, unable to digest the thought that he might not be welcome anymore. 

The instant Makoto came home with laden with plastic bags however, he found his fears were unfounded.

Makoto had been taking off his shoes in the entryway, when Haruka had rounded the corner and greeted him quietly.

"Welcome home."

Makoto had froze where he stood, before his face lit up with a bright grin.

"I'm home!"

He had immediately launched into an overview of his day, telling him all about the day-to-day bustle of the firehouse and pressing a bag of food into Haruka's hands, asking him if he thought he had gotten enough for four.

Haruka brought it into the kitchen and combed through the fresh vegetables and red strips of meat before pulling out a cake box with some sort of chocolate candy-coated monstrosity nestled inside. 

He looked over his shoulder to pin Makoto with the most unimpressed look that he could muster.

"Ahaha... well, you know how bad Nagisa's sweet tooth is," Came the lame excuse, Makoto's blush giving the game away.

Haruka turned back to the kitchen counter with a sigh. Makoto was a grown adult. If he wanted to rot his teeth out of his head slowly, that was his business.

When Haruka's gaze landed on the food again however, he realised something was missing. He placed the vegetables to one side and put the meat away in the fridge. He even shook out the plastic bag but he still couldn't find it.

Makoto hadn't bought mackerel.

He had, however, noticed Haruka's ever-growing frown.

"Did I forget something?" He asked peering over Haruka's shoulder.

Haruka looked at him but he saw a dusty box shoved into the back of a wardrobe. He thought about taking up too much space.

"It's nothing," He murmured.

Makoto paid more attention to the assembled ingredients then his words. Suddenly his jolted upright with a yelp.

"Ahh! I didn't get fish! Haru, I'm so sorry!"

"...It's fine."

"It's not, I'll go back and get some right now!"

Makoto was halfway to the door before Haruka even noticed that he had moved. By the time he caught up with him, he was already putting his shoes back on.

“Makoto, stop, it's fine,” He insisted.

"I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Makoto, you don't have-"

"I want to."

Makoto lifted his head from where he was sitting on the porch step to meet his eye and smiled softly.

"It's going to be your first proper meal back isn't it?" He tipped his head to one side, his smile growing and taking up his whole face, his eyes crinkling with happiness, "I want everything to be perfect for you."

Before Haruka could muster a response, or will himself not to blush at Makoto's sincerity, he was hopping out the door with a promise that he would be back soon.

Which left Haruka by himself, standing over the stove, tasting soup, preparing the stir-fry, and being utterly confused.

Since yesterday, Makoto had been nothing but welcoming and kind. He had been overjoyed to see him again; he was going out of his way to meet Haruka's every need.

Yet he had hidden every scrap of evidence that Haruka had ever lived with him and he couldn't quite shake the look he had seen on Makoto's face this morning. Far too distant, as he stared at Haruka and saw something else.

Haruka moved over to the fridge to take more vegetables out of the bottom drawer. His eye was drawn to the brightly-coloured packaging of the microwave meals Makoto had been living off. He found the discarded remains of more of them as he peeled carrots into the bin.

Before the accident, Makoto had been just as bad at cooking as he seemed to be now but back then there was at least rice in the press and easy-to-cook ingredients to be found in the fridge. He had been enthusiastic about learning when Haruka had made the mistake of offering to teach him, resulting in small burns and knife wounds for everybody.

Haruka wondered if, without a teacher, he had just stopped trying.

He slammed the carrots down onto the chopping board and hacked at them viciously.

Haruka hated being confused.

The easy fix, of course, would be simply to ask Makoto what was wrong but Haruka knew from living with him that he was as bad at answering difficult questions as Haruka was at asking them.

The speaking of hard truths didn't sit well with either of them.

Haruka's one assurance that he might get an answer was that both Nagisa and Rei were far more loose-lipped then his house-mate. If he was careful, he might be able to get something out of them without Makoto realising.

A little bit of knowledge would go a long way in working up the nerve to talk to him properly.

As Haruka came to this conclusion, sated for the moment, he heard the clatter of keys in the door and in the next moment, he heard Makoto stepping through.

"I'm home!" Came his voice from down the hall.

"Welcome back," Haruka called over his shoulder automatically.

Makoto came into the kitchen beaming from ear to ear and flushed from coming in so quickly from the cold.

"Here," He placed a small paper-wrapped package in Haruka's hands, "It was one of the last ones, let me know if it's okay?" 

Haruka took it out immediately and unwrapped it, placing the fat-marbled fish fillet onto the chopping board for inspection.

He felt Makoto hovering over his shoulder as he stared at it.

"...Is it okay?"

Haruka turned to look at him.

Makoto hadn't even taken his coat off yet, shuffling from one foot to the other. He stared back at Haruka with big, expectant eyes, the tiny furrow in his brow giving away his worry.

"Perfect."

Haruka wasn't sure if the word was an answer or an observation.

Makoto smiled anyway, one of his huge, beaming, all encompassing smiles that made his whole face look happy. He settled down satisfied and shrugged his coat off.

"Oh, by the way!" He said as he began to take plates out of one of the overheard cupboards, "I got a text from Rei, they'll be here in about half an hour."

"...'kay."

With another grin, Makoto swept out of the kitchen to set the table. Haruka took a moment to embrace the warmth blooming in his chest before taking out the frying pan.

Perhaps he was reading too much into the whole thing. Makoto was clearly delighted to have him back, maybe he was just being paranoid. The chill of straining to keep his self together when he was gone was rapidly fading the more time he spent with Makoto and Haruka wasn't too keen on questioning that.

Besides it hadn't even been a full day since he had reappeared in Makoto's bathtub without warning; the poor man was probably still in shock.

More likely than not, there was nothing to worry about.

For the first time since he returned, Haruka felt relaxed.

~~

Forty minutes later, he found himself wound as tense as a spring as Rei and Nagisa stood in the doorway of the apartment gawping at him.

They hadn't even shucked their shoes off when he rounded the corner to say hello and they had both frozen the second he did.

Makoto stood beside them, holding the door open and biting back a smile.

A thick silence filled the room and Haruka stared at the ground, willing it to break. He felt their gaze roaming all over him and hated it.

The soft sound of feet on a hardwood floor, and he saw Nagisa's star-spangled socks creep into the edge on his vision then stop, cautious.

Haruka sighed, tired of the tension.

"Hi," He said softly, lifting his head.

Standing right in front of him, Nagisa was shaking with emotion, silent tears flooding down his face.

"Ah-!"

"H-HAAAAAARUUUUU-CHHHAANNNNN!"

The younger man flung himself at him, crushing his waist in a tight hug and sobbing openly.

Haruka froze up further as he buried his face in his chest. Nagisa was mumbling something that got lost in-between wails.

Slow and unsure, Haruka raised his hands and placed them delicately on his shaking shoulders. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt something clamp down on one of his own.

Rei had approached them and was now clutching Haruka's shoulder tightly. His eyes were bright with unshed tears.

"H-Haruka-san..." His voice was thick with emotion, "Makoto-senpai explained but... I didn't really... Thank goodness! Oh, thank goodness!"

Then he was weeping as well.

Haruka raised a hand and placed his on his back, giving both of the sobbing men very awkward pats.

He looked to Makoto for help. Comfort wasn't exactly his strong suit.

Makoto had shut the door and was now looking at the three of them with soft, faraway eyes. When he caught Haruka staring, the corners of his mouth turned up slightly.

He came up to them silently and laid one hand on Nagisa's head, the other on Rei's shoulder.

“Okay, you two,” His whisper seemed to grow into the quiet rather then break it, “Let's get you fed and watered before you dehydrate, hmm?”

Nagisa laughed, startled and bright, and turned on his heel to throw his arms around Makoto's waist instead. 

Rei sniffed and pulled out a packet of tissues.

Makoto lead the pair of them into the living room, throwing a smile back over his shoulder for Haruka to follow.

He took in a deep breath, more than a little shaken by the outburst of emotion, and rolled his shoulders loose before trailing after them.

~~

Dinner was hearty and loud. 

Nagisa was the main culprit, he had pulled his cushion right beside Haruka's and babbled in his ear about anything and everything that came to his mind as they ate. Rei would chime in at points to correct some fact or other that he had misremembered and that would give Nagisa ammunition to drag Rei into one of their infamous squabbles that made everyone forget what they had been talking about in the first place.

Makoto was laughing along at the anecdotes and occasionally reminding Nagisa to slow down and breathe before he choked. It was good to hear his laugh, Haruka hadn't realised how much he had missed it. 

He also hadn't realised how much he had missed Nagisa and Rei.

In his time as vapour, Makoto had been his anchor to the human world – thoughts of his job, his apartment and his friends forming a backdrop to cement his focus, never taking the limelight.

Now however, where he could hear their voices, see their faces, feel the body warmth where Nagisa pressed up against him, Haruka was overcome with feeling for both of them.

The two of them were of the same cut as Makoto, willing to bring an utter stranger into their lives, to defend him from the trouble he brought them. He ducked his head to hide the smile that grew on his face as he remembered the day the two of them helped Makoto and him run from that creepy cop. Nagisa dragging him into the bathroom and throwing a whole cooked fish into the tub wasn't an image he could ever forget.

They had both helped him work his way through the ins-and outs of an ordinary human life. Rei had shown him how to sort out the paperwork that came with a full-time job and Nagisa, after a full hour of discussing taxes, had dragged the two of them and Makoto outside to do something fun.

Haruka had always thought of them as friends, but it was only now that the feeling bubbled up in him. It overcame his senses and made him feel flushed.

It would have been understandable, if hurtful, had his return been too much for them. Particularly Rei, whose rational senses Haruka was certain turning into steam would have offended.

Instead they embraced him, pulling him further into solid reality and the comfort of home.

Haruka was sure the gratitude was radiating out of him like a wave of heat.

It warmed him to the core to know the feeling was mutual. That Nagisa and Rei seemed to have missed him just as much.

As their chatter continued, Makoto caught the misty look in Haruka's eye and gave him a knowing smile.

Makoto was also grateful, but for what, he couldn't tell.

Haruka was so caught up in his own thoughts feelings that he didn't catch onto what was wrong with the atmosphere until dinner was over.

Nagisa was regaling him with the tale of Rei's birthday party while Rei tried to shush him. Makoto watched with an ever-growing smile on his face.

It turned out that not only had Rei forgotten to meet Nagisa who had planned a surprise with all his co-workers and friends, he had forgotten the date altogether and had been so tired that he fell asleep with most of his work uniform still on.

Nagisa had lead the merry band of revelers around to Rei's place to bring the surprise to him and half of his office saw him snoring on his couch wearing nothing but his underwear and his lab coat.

Nagisa was in hysterics by the end of the story squeezing out words in between gasps.

"And.. haha... and when he woke up....ahahaha- you should have seen his face, Haru-chan!"

Haruka bit his lip but a smile broke through regardless.

"Nagisa-kun! It's not funny!" Rei wailed, "I got called 'Underpants' for weeks!!"

Even Makoto couldn't hold back his laughter at that.

"Makoto-senpai, not you too!"

"Sorry, sorry," Makoto giggled, "I didn't know you woke up when everyone was there! Poor Rei..."

He patted his shoulder softly. Rei only turned redder.

His words sparked something in Haruka's brain under the humour.

"You weren't there?" He asked Makoto.

It seemed odd. Nagisa had said the party was on a Sunday. Makoto didn't work Sundays, as far as he could remember. He couldn't think of any other reason why he wouldn't celebrate a friend's birthday.

The table was suddenly silent.

Makoto's smile was still hitched upon his face, but the joviality had fallen from both Nagisa and Rei.

All the laughter had fled from Nagisa, the grave look in his eye making him seem older somehow. Rei was abruptly very interested in his empty plate and kept his eye lowered.

"I wasn't... available that day," Makoto answered simply.

It wasn't a lie. Haruka knew Makoto when he lied and it was a different kind of false smile that crossed his face when he did.

But it wasn't the full truth. It was another one of these odd, unpleasant and unexplained behaviours that he had been noticing in Makoto all day. It was same look in his eye that he had had in the bathroom this morning. He still hated it just as much.

Makoto broke eye contact with him and began to gather up the empty dinner plates. Silence reigned over the table.

At a loss of what else to do, Haruka reached out to help, but Makoto caught his hand and squeezed it slightly.

"Relax Haru, you cooked, I'll clean."

Haruka sat back on his heels and bit his lip. Makoto seemed to turn temporarily deaf when it came to accepting help with housework.

Not that that stopped the others from trying.

"Makoto-senpai, don't try to take everything at once!" Rei called after him as he made his way to the kitchen. His voice wavered slightly as he did.

When Makoto mumbled something non-committal over his shoulder, Rei began gathering the side-dishes into his arms like he was being timed.

He sprang to his feet and began to follow him.

"Make some tea too?" Nagisa asked, seemingly himself again, "Mako-chan promised me cake."

Rei grumbled about laziness under his breath but everyone in the room knew he would start boiling water as soon as he put the dishes down.

He followed in Makoto's footsteps leaving quiet behind him.

Haruka took a sip of water and was trying to figure out what he wasn't being told when he caught Nagisa smiling at him. It was far softer than what he was used to seeing on his face.

"What?"

"Nothing," Nagisa shrugged, "Just glad you're here."

Haruka ducked his head.

"...thanks."

Nagisa's grin grew wider.

Haruka thoughts strayed to cooking earlier that evening. To boiling water and resolve.

His patience for being left in the dark had long run out.

"Nagisa."

"Yeah?"

"...Is Makoto okay?"

The words felt heavy dropping from his mouth.

Nagisa sat up straight from where he had been slumped over the table and stared at Haruka, eyes wide with shock.

He stared back and tried not to squirm.

The shock faded and was replaced with scrutiny. Nagisa studied him for a full minute in silence.

Bubbling water and soft shuffles of movement came from the next room over.

"Mako-chan... is fine," Nagisa said eventually, sounding like he had really had to think about it.

It was another not-lie, truth but not the whole of it. Unlike Makoto however, Nagisa seemed to be waiting for the right question to be asked.

Haruka had an idea of where to start.

"...Was he okay? When I was... away?"

Nagisa frowned slightly and Haruka could see the real unhappiness behind it.

"Have you asked Mako-chan that?"

He bit his lip.

"Didn't really get the chance..."

"How long have you been back?"

He turned to look at the clock on the wall.

"22... no, 23 hours."

"Not even a day... What did you and Mako-chan do this morning?"

"Had breakfast, decided to have you and Rei over. Then he went to work."

"Just like that? Like normal?"

"Mmm..."

"Geez, Mako-chan..."

Haruka thought about his discovery in the bedroom.

"He put all my things away," He told him, pouting.

"Huh?"

"My clothes, my sketchbook, all the photos with me in them... Why would he?"

Nagisa's expression turned from just unhappy to sudden upset. He pressed his hand to Haruka's forearm and leaned forward to look him in the eye.

"You need to talk to him," He urged, "You need to tell him what happened when you were gone."

Haruka frowned. Vaporizing didn't make for good memories.

"What does that matter? I'm back now, it's fine."

"It's not-!" Nagisa licked his lips nervously, "We're all so, so glad you are, Haru-chan, but if you are really worried about Mako-chan you need to talk to him, not ask other people."

Haruka turned his face to one side.

"He'll just say he's fine and change the subject."

Nagisa laughed weakly.

"Of course he will, it's Mako-chan, but don't let him please."

Haruka kept his gaze firmly fixed to the floor. Nagisa squeezed his arm.

"I know it's hard for you to ask things, and Mako-chan is just as bad as answering things sometimes... But I think you need to, for both of you. Don't let him run away.”

Haruka finally looked back at him and saw solid determination masking real fear. He felt the hairs rising on the back of his neck.

“...I'll try.” 

It was all he could do. 

Makoto had accommodated him ever since they met. It was his turn to reach out.

Nagisa finally smiled and gave Haruka's arm one more squeeze before leaning back into his place.

Makoto and Rei came into the room with tea and cake slices just as he did.

Makoto gaze flicked between the two of them, concern rising in the arch of his eyebrows.

“What are you two talking about?”

Nagisa looked inbetween Makoto and Haruka before bursting into a big, cheesy grin.

“Rei-chan's rocketship boxers!”

“Nagisa-kun!! Don't tell him that!”

“Haha!”

~~

The two of them didn't stay long after that. 

Once the cake had been devoured, Nagisa began to yawn and Rei mentioned the start of an early shift in the morning. 

The subdued atmosphere between their hosts wasn't exactly encouraging either. 

Both Makoto and Haruka walked them to the door, where they said their goodbyes and thank-yous.

"I'm really glad you could both make it," Makoto told them, holding the door open, "We should do this again soon."

"Yes, we will cook for you next time," Rei said, winding his scarf around his neck, "Thank you for having us."

Nagisa sprung up from the step where he was tying his shoelaces and hugged Makoto tightly around the waist.

"Thank you, Mako-chan! Everything was so delicious!"

"Haha, you can thank Haru for that."

Nagisa did so, turning on his heel to latch onto Haruka like a limpet.

"You're such a good cook, Haru-chan!"

Prepared this time, Haruka put his hand on the top of his head and patted it.

"Mm," He mumbled, "Thanks."

After a few more seconds too many of the hug, he patted him more insistently.

"Nagisa."

"Hehe," He stepped back but hung onto one of Haru's hands, swinging it back and forth between them, "I'm just happy you're back, Haru-chan."

"Aren't we all?" He heard Makoto murmur to his side.

"Of course!" Rei trilled as he wrapped his scarf around his neck, "It's so wonderful to see you again after all this time."

Haruka paused, mentally digging out the question he had meant to ask that morning. It had been buried so far underneath everything else that happened today that he had almost forgotten about it.

"How long have I been gone anyway?"

Nagisa dropped his hand.

Rei froze he stood.

He heard the creak of wood as Makoto's grip on the door tightened.

Haruka's head spun with deja-vu.

Nagisa took at step back towards the open door and bumped into Rei. He jumped and his hands began to flutter uselessly about his neck.

“You don't-? Um, ahh...” Rei hemmed and hawed before turning to Makoto with a pained expression. 

“What? Don't what?”

Nagisa's eyes flickered inbetween Makoto and Haruka before settling on the former. Hi bit his lip, fear bright in his gaze.

Haruka followed their lead and looked to Makoto. 

He was staring out of the open door, his eyes focusing on some imaginary point beyond where Nagisa and Rei stood. The corners of his mouth were turned up but the expression could hardly have been called as a smile. A plastic look screwed on with a lot of practice to sooth and appease. 

“Makoto?”

Haruka hadn't even been back a full day and he had already seen that look far too many times for his liking.

“Makoto! What-!”

“Six months.”

Makoto said it softly as if to himself, but Haruka's ears rang as if he had screamed it.

He tilted his head to look him in the eye and Haruka saw nothing but a careful blankness in his gaze.

“You've been... gone for six months, Haru.”

He felt a swooping sensation in his stomach like he had missed the last step walking down stairs in the dark.

"...what?"

Makoto's fake, placid smile remained firmly in place.

It was only when he felt his shoulders hit the wall that he realised Haruka realised he had backed away from him.

He looked to Nagisa and Rei, praying to see smirks or restrained laughter, proof of a poorly-thought out joke. They couldn't look him in the eye.

Of course he knew he had been away for some time. The change in weather was evidence enough of that, even if he wasn't quite sure of the season. He still had some grasp of how time worked on land, a day, a week, those he knew. 

Time didn't mean anything in the water. If he had been asked to guess, he would have said two weeks, three at most. 

The thought of half a year rolled around in his head and collided with images of microwave meals in the bin, photos shoved in a closet, a far-too faraway stare. 

He felt dinner trying to claw its way back up his throat.

It was suddenly too hard to breathe. He pulled at the collar of his shirt, gasping.

“Why...” He wheezed, “Why didn't you tell me?”

Makoto's face was still frozen in that awful facsimile of a smile. The part of Haruka's brain that wasn't drowning in white noise wondered just how long he had been practicing it.

“You didn't ask.”

His voice had nothing in it, not even upset or bleakness. Just blank. An actor reading lines by rote.

Haruka ran.

He ran to the first place instinct told him was safe, he ran from stupid questions with devastating answers, he ran from the stranger wearing Makoto's face.

He ran into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

He pulled the bath tap as far as it would go. Underneath the rush of running water, he heard muffled distressed voices, something that could have been his name. The murmur of conversation. The shutting of a door. Eventually, the padding of feet on carpet.

The sound approached the bathroom door and stopped outside it.

Haruka willed the bath to fill up faster.

The footsteps moved away from the door.

He chucked his clothes off and stepped into the bathtub, the water frigid against his over heated skin. A prickling sensation rose up and down his nerves as his toes touched the water. He lay down as quickly as he could and let himself change. His legs morphed into his tail almost instantly. It was never uncomfortable, but the confines of the bath reminded him of just how trapped he was.

As soon as the water level had risen high enough, he ducked his head grateful for the sudden lack of noise.

Six months.

It seemed like an impossible amount of time but the more he thought about it, the more certain things began to make sense. 

Makoto hadn't been expecting him to come back, that was for certain. He had hidden away his existence, he had stopped spending as much time with the friends they shared, he had even abandoned the skills Haruka had tried to teach him to look after himself better. It was as if he was trying to forget he was ever in his life.

Was Makoto angry that he left? Despite the tears and joy from last night, Haruka couldn't help but wonder if he even wanted him back here at all.

Lying in the cold water, he thought he should do them both a favour and just dissolve again.

There was a knock at the door. It echoed through the liquid.

After a couple of seconds of ignoring it, there was another knock. 

He quietly lifted his head above the water level.

“Haru?” The voice on the other side of the door was soft, hesitant. 

“Haru? Can I come in?”

He slapped his tail fin against the rim of the tub. As if Makoto needed to ask permission to enter his own bathroom, which Haruka was clearly unwelcome in.

“Haru... I won't come in if you don't want me to... B-But! But you have to tell me. You have to tell me to leave.”

He wanted to scream at him to leave. How dare he bring him into his home, make him feel like it was his too, and then act surprised when he came back to the only place he wanted to be?!

His mouth had other ideas and stayed shut.

The door slowly creaked open.

Makoto walked in as if there was broken glass scattered on the ground.

To his credit, he looked sorry. The fake smile had mercifully vanished, to be replaced by a furrowed brow and a bitten lip. He kept his eyes on the ground.

Haruka said nothing as he sat on the ground beside his head, his back resting on the bath. 

Makoto hugged his knees to his chest and kept his head down.

Haruka considered ducking back under the water and ignoring him but something sharp and angry had risen up in him and he barked out a question before he could stop himself.

“Why didn't you tell me?”

Makoto moaned.

“I... I don't know... There was so much going on, I... I guess I didn't really think about it.”

Despite having done the same, Haruka still let the anger lash out.

“Then why are you mad at me? I didn't know! I didn't think it would take so long to come back!”

Makoto finally looked at him, distress marring his face.

“I-I'm not mad at you-”

“Then why did you get rid of my things? I saw that box!”

“Haru-”

“You hid everything I had!”

“Har-”

“You been acting weird all day!”

“No-”

“Do you not want me here?”

“No!”

“Should I not have come back?”

“No, no, Haru!” Makoto hands flew to his head tugging at his hair, “That's not it, I'm not angry with you, I swear!”

“Then what is it?”

“Haru-”

“What's wrong?”

“I-”

“Tell me!”

Makoto whirled around and slammed a fist down on the rim of the bath.

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD, HARU!”

What little warmth the bathwater had had fled. The chill of it crept up his spine.

Makoto stared at him glassy-eyed, biting his lip so hard it was about to bleed. He was trembling. The mask Haruka didn't even know he had been wearing was shattered and he flooded outward.

“You turned into water! You evaporated! To save me!” His voice was raw with grief, “I thought you were dead and that it was my fault! It was my fault what happened to you! If I hadn't been so stupid, you would have never put yourself in danger! But I was, and you did.”

He took in a shuddering breath and all Haruka could do was stare. 

“I had to put your things away, I couldn't stand it- Seeing how you used to live- All those photos... I was too much of a coward to look at your face when I was the one who killed you...”

He had started to sob as he spoke and even now as he trailed off, his chest heaved with the effort of trying not to wail out loud.

Haruka felt sick again.

“I...I...” He couldn't even get the words out. 

There were far too many ripples in the water and he realised that he was shaking. He felt a hot sting behind his eyes as he began to tear up.

“I...didn't even think about that,” He admitted.

Makoto stared helplessly.

“I... thought I would reform sooner... so much sooner. I didn't even think that you wouldn't know... that I would come back at all.I just.... assumed.”

He gaped at him.

“Haru... How on earth could I know you would come back? H-How...?”

“...You're Makoto. You know me better than anyone.”

It rang pathetic in his ears but startled a laugh out of Makoto. The laugh quickly morphed into a sob and he pressed a hand to his mouth to try and hold it in.

Haruka didn't bother, just let his tears start to flow.

“Makoto- Makoto, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.”

“H-H-Haru... 'm sorry Haru, I-I-”

He lost control and began to wail outright. Haruka leapt towards him and threw his arms around his shoulders. Makoto immediately clamped onto him and buried his face in his neck, sobbing. 

Haruka rocked them back and forth, trying not to do the very same.

They clung to each other for what felt like an eternity, until the hard rim of the bath digging into their torsos hurt too much to bear any longer. 

Haruka wordlessly invited Makoto into the bath and, after some careful maneuvering, he was lying on his back stretched out in the tub with Haruka laying on top of him.

They held each other for a few minutes more, catching their breath and rubbing their aching eyes.

“I'm sorry, Haru, for everything,” Makoto murmured into the top of his head.

“Me too.”

“I-I was being stupid, I just wanted things to be normal for you, I didn't want you to see me... like that.”

“Upset?”

“Heart-broken.”

Haruka propped himself upright and stared at him.

“Heart-broken?”

“Y-Yeah?”

“...My leaving... broke your heart?”

“Ah! No, don't look so sad! Ugh, I shouldn't have said anything!”

Makoto tugged at his hair, looking like a kicked puppy. Despite himself, Haruka chuckled.

“Don't do that. I was just surprised. It's... almost flattering... to know I meant that much.”

Any humour dropped from Makoto's face.

“Of course you did! You still do... You're Haru.”

He leaned into his chest again to hide his smile. Makoto's arms folded around him and they soaked each other up for a few more minutes.

“Haru?”

“Mmm?”

“Can I ask... why you decided to come back here?” Haruka tensed in his arms, “N-Not that I didn't want you to! I'm so so glad you are here! I... I just wondered why...”

Haruka rolled onto his side so he could look him in the eye.

“When I was water vapour, it was hard to keep myself together. Part of me wanted to follow the state I was in. To drift and float forever, losing who I was as I broke down further and further.”

Makoto's grip on him tightened.

“But I knew I had to get back here, I knew you would be waiting for me... At least, I assumed you would be...”

Makoto laughed weakly.

“That was what kept me together, the thought of you. How you would wake me up in the mornings, how we would make our lunches together, spending as much time as I could with you... Living here, in our home. Those thoughts... made me. They stitched me back together again and when I came back to myself, I was here. And you found me again.”

Makoto's eyes had grown huge in his head as he listened. 

The revelation slipped out without fanfare.

“I came back because I love you.”

They both jumped as they realised what he said.

“What?”

“Oh!”

“Haru?!”

“I... I love you. I'm in love with you... That's why I don't want to be anywhere else... Huh.”

“Huh??”

“That makes sense.”

“Wait, wait,” Makoto started to giggle, “Haru, did you just work that out now?”

“... I guess so.”

Makoto burst into peals of laughter and hugged him tightly. Confused and still reeling from his realisation, Haruka could only return it.

Makoto eventually leaned back and cupped his face inbetween his hands.

“I love you, Haru. I've loved you for so long.”

Haruka felt his face grow hot.

“Ah, well... good.”

Makoto laughed again and leaned forward to kiss him. 

Their lips met once, twice, soft, sweet things too full of relief and startled joy to go beyond that.

Haruka rested his forehead against Makoto's as he caught his breath, staring into deep green depths in fire with happiness. 

“Let me say it again,” Makoto whispered to him.

Haruka felt warm and squirmed in his arms.

“You've already said it.”

“Please? Let me say it a second time?”

Haruka let out a huff but pecked him on the lips.

“Go on then.”

Makoto smiled and it was the realest thing Haruka had ever seen.

“Welcome home, Haru.”

“...I'm home.”


End file.
